At the end of this tidbit, I have a special request for any of you that are willing. But first, the Tidbit.
Today's tidbit focuses on asking really great questions instead of giving people answers. It's a coaching tool that focuses more on facilitation instead of instruction. Both are crucial, but facilitation is far harder and infinitely more rewarding. "How much more rewarding," you may ask? See for yourself.
Tale of Tiana
Tiana was one of the first direct reports I had when I first got into leadership at a previous gig. She had worked for the company for twenty years, doing the same customer support role for the entirety of those years. As she puts it, she “had to start at the bottom.” She had not been promoted or given any new challenges during that twenty year period. Not a single one. We got to work together on the same project prior to her reporting to me, and in the months leading up to me taking over the team she had asked question after question and poured herself into learning the product we managed. So you can imagine my wonder at how this curious, brilliant person had stayed in the same role for so long.
As soon as I was promoted, I immediately did two things. I started by asking my leader why Tiana had never been promoted before. The answer I got was along the lines of some people just don't have the desire to change or do more. It was like we were talking about two different people.
Oddly enough, during 1:1's with Tiana, she would tell me stories about how, outside of work, she was the leader of various organizations and was constantly taking on and crushing projects, all while raising two kids alone after her husband passed away. Outside of work! This person, with "very little potential or drive" was leaving work each day and changing the world. What the literal heck!?
I told you I did two things when I got promoted. The second was; I immediately revoked my access to all the systems for the product we managed, so I could no longer make changes or improvements. At this point, I made it my mission to unlock the untapped potential I knew Tiana had. My goal was to try and restore her intrinsic motivation at work by trying one thing...I would only ask her questions. This was not as easy as it sounds, but the biggest "wailing and nashing of teeth" came from management, not Tiana. She asked for answers quite a bit, but I would only ask her questions to force her to come to her own conclusions. The biggest frustration actually came in the form of management not understanding why I was no longer "doing" the things and why productivity had slowed down. There were definitely some intense moments of fellowship. Giving answers is ALWAYS faster. But the handicap you place on people is enormous. All that said, and you probably knew this was coming, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
Not only did Tiana learn the system, she did it faster than anyone anticipated. I was able to take a role in a different area and she was promoted to manager. I got a text from Tiana a year or so later in which she let me know she had been promoted again and was now managing multiple teams. By pushing her to use her critical thinking skill, the same one she had to use outside of work, she uncapped the ability to move beyond the managers that had been "telling her" what to do for twenty years. Make no mistake, she did the hard work. All I did was ask questions and get out of her way.
The Ask
That’s where I could use your help. I am working on a leadership training course around the challenge Coaching and Asking Questions instead of Dictating, and your feedback could actually help shape that. If you have some extra time this week, I’d love to hear from you. What are some examples of really great questions you ask, as well as some objection you think might cause you or other leaders to decide there is little value in asking questions and instead just tell people what to do.
I appreciate all of you!