Meetings Should Never Be Mandatory, Because They Aren't
How giving and taking ownership over time is a critical Agile and life skill
In honor of July 4th, the anniversary of us saying “No” to all the mandatory meetings imposed on us as a fledgling nation, I wanted to talk about a freedom topic. I was recently chatting with my good friend and fellow crusader Ben Tonak when he told me a story about how he encouraged team members to make hard prioritization decisions and learn to say no. In this case, it was the age old question of, “Should I go to a meeting that a leader has scheduled just because a leader scheduled it.” My answer won’t surprise you, given you’ve read any of my work to date. This edition of the Tuesday Tidbit actually went out on Wednesday.
Should I stay or Should I Go
As an Agile Coach for almost seven years now I can honestly say that the number one killer of productivity is too many meetings. I’m not talking about a team collaborating with one another to make a decision or get clarity. I’m talking about the “we have to get up, context switch away from work, and march into another meeting room for a formal meeting.” Don’t get me wrong, those meetings are not intrinsically boring or terrible. But that’s what actually makes it harder to say no. On top of that, the leader that scheduled it probably made it an expectation that you attend, whether explicitly said it or not. How do you say no to a meeting that is probably going to be enjoyable and you feel is mandatory? I’m not a fan of mandates, but don’t worry, I won’t bring up masks or shots.
But He’s Right Here, Right Now!
As Ben Tonak tells the story, and I am paraphrasing and changing the names to protect the innocent, the team he was working with was in a Sprint. All that means is the entire team was in a room together for a week with an intense focus on one specific outcome. Everyone clears their schedule of any meetings or outside distractions for one week. If only this were the model for every day…but that’s actually not the exact focus of this Tidbit.
On day three of the Sprint, where everyone was in the same room and had eliminated outside meetings, there was a recurring monthly meeting for the entire department. These are the kind that are normally informative and engaging with food and other goodies. And just like stealing a base when you’re up by ten runs in baseball, missing a monthly meeting scheduled by leaders is something you “just don’t do.” Most of the team decided to leave the Sprint room and go to this hour long distraction.
There was only one problem.
The team had finally gotten access to something more rare than pulling a Charizard in a random pack of Pokemon cards: a busy software engineer from a platform team. That’s right, Peter (not really Peter) was finally available to help them with a critical piece of the work they were delivering in this Sprint. The only problem? They only had him for that hour. Two of the developers on the team were debating whether to leave and attend the monthly meeting or stay and use this critical resource in Peter. Then something important happened. Something that is crucial to cementing autonomy and critical thinking to your culture. Ben, a seasoned team member, spoke up and said, “You guys know you can say no to that meeting and stay here.”
Long story short, they stayed and finished the work and lives were changed because of the results. But I want to shine a light on how important it is that everyone help solidify a culture of autonomy and critical thinking. In the story above, Ben showed those developers it’s okay to say no to a meeting, even when there’s free food. Of course knowing the value of the work you’re doing is helpful as well, but sometimes we just need to know from someone we trust that saying no to a meeting is okay. Ben proved it that day when he stayed in the room to knock out the work.
Saying No: A Tool
I would be remiss if I did not include some type of practical tool for you to use when evaluating and saying no to a meeting, so here is what I have used. It’s a simple three step prioritization flow I ask.
Communicate my boundary!
I can say no, but I need to make sure people know I’ve said no. Keep your leader in the loop of how you exercise your time autonomy.
Ask two powerful questions of every meeting:
“Am I clear on the value I provide or receive in this meeting?”
If Yes, I go to meeting and provide the heck out of that value in as little time as needed.
If No, I request a quick answer to this question.
Is the work I am currently focused on higher value than what I discovered in question 1?
Any time I have a meeting, I ask if the work I am about to deliver to a customer can delay for that meeting.
I decline meetings when I don’t intend to attend. I don’t accept then “ghost.” That’s just rude. It’s similar to 1, but occurs more when invites show up.
For example, I decline meetings that don’t express the value and are same day or last minute. I then seek to reschedule.
Landing the Plane
Here’s the thing; no meeting should be mandatory. Period. We should make them valuable enough that the hardest decision we have is what value is more important in that moment. It should never be a battle of, “Should I risk getting in trouble for not attending.” Most people take years to build that kind of trust with leaders before they will take that risk. We don’t have years for people to start answering the question “should I stay, or should I go.”
It’s true of almost all things in life. When we understand the value, we don’t need a mandate. We need the ability to screw it up in order to feel empowered to do the right thing. There are consequences for choosing one way or another, but we must know we own that choice, whether we give it away or not.
As leaders, protect your people’s right to say no to meetings. Encourage it. Let them get it wrong a time or two with no recourse and they will see it’s real.
As people, know you have the autonomy to say no whenever you deem necessary. It’s yours as soon as you take it. No one can “give it to you.” However, remember that saying yes to one thing is also saying no to something else. Flex the muscle for saying no and you will have a super power only some every realize - ownership of your time.
Until next time,
Keep on learning. Keep on growing.